As a women’s memoirist, I read a lot of women’s memoirs. Nineteen, since the summer. The one I just finished—”Know My Name,” by Chanel Miller—is in a class by itself. You may know her story.
In 2015, Chanel was sexually assaulted at Stanford University. Fortunately, witnesses stopped the attack and the attacker was arrested. In 2016, after the man was found guilty on all counts, Chanel’s Victim Impact Statement went viral on Buzzfeed with over 15 million views.
As a result, hundreds of sexual assault victims reached out to Chanel, saying that, because she fought for her rights—and her dignity, they can heal more easily The outpouring of compassion helped pull Chanel through.
And the judge who gave the privileged attacker the lightest possible sentence was recalled and removed from office.
The assault itself was devastating. Yet the stigma attached to victimhood—the kick in the face of being labeled worthless, tainted, and “less than” was unbearable for Chanel. I had to stop reading several times just to breathe.
Women and Worthiness
While I’ve never been sexually abused, her stark descriptions of how she felt during her ordeal enveloped me. Yet I saw it all so completely.
Was it my pain? Was it hers?
It didn’t matter. I realized, that whatever I’m looking at, isn’t me. When we see something—really see it, by definition, we’re not it.
Chanel’s story reaffirmed what I’ve learned over the years: instead of stuffing those feelings of worthlessness when I experience them from a place of acceptance, healing can happen. I can let them go. Chanel described a similar process that allowed her to heal from her trauma.
How about you? What story have you recently read, heard, or seen that made you stronger? And why?
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